How to Use Social Comparison for Good

Rhucha Kulkarni
Jul 28
4 min read

Earlier, we discussed about the tendency to constantly compare ourselves with others on various levels – Comparititis. But What if we could use comparison not to bring ourselves down, but to lift ourselves up? Here’s how you can turn social comparison into fuel for personal growth:

1. Know the Two Types of Comparison

Psychologists call them upward and downward comparisons.

Upward Comparison is comparing yourself with someone you perceive as “better” in some way. Downward Comparison is comparing with someone you see as “worse off”. Both can be useful — if approached with the right mindful intent. Instead of feeling inferior with upward comparison, use it as inspiration. And instead of judging in downward comparison, use it for gratitude. Making mindful choices can look like the following statements:

“If they can do it, maybe I can too.”“I’m grateful for where I am, and I still want to grow.”

2. Make It About Learning, Not Judging

Social media often presents curated highlights, not the full story. Often, updates are curated only from the good life, and does not depict the true picture. Before you assume someone’s success is effortless, ask:

"What can I learn from their journey?"

"What steps did they take that I might try?"

It is important to know the goal - it is not to be them — but to grow for oneself, by knowing oneself.

3. Compare Values, Not Just Outcomes

It’s tempting to focus only on results — money, looks, job titles. But the fact is that we rarely see the full picture of someone else's journey - everyone has a unique starting point, resources, and challenges, hence success isn't always linear or easy. The real power of comparison lies in aligning your life with your values, not someone else’s version of success. Leaning into selfhood is the key to personal growth and personal development - becoming the best version of YOU! Ask yourself the hard questions…

"What about this person’s life feels meaningful to me?"

"Does their path align with what I want — or what I think I should want?"

A life driven by values, purpose and meaning ups your emotional energy and mental energy and brings more intentional living. So, set authentic goals, in alignment with your true Being.

4. Celebrate Yourself – and Others

When someone shines, instead of shrinking yourself, focus on expanding what you have. We often think that we are in a rat race, we are socially conditioned to believe so. But actually, each one of us is on a different journey, driven by our "magical personal power" or Mojo . What you admire in others may already live in you — just unfolding at its own pace. Spare some kindness and compassion for yourself – because today where you are is an amalgamation of so many positives. And also extend this to others.

5. Strive to be a Better Version of Yourself

At some point in life, we may realize, the actual competition is with only ourselves. So use a powerful and healthy form of comparison – comparison with one’s past self / earlier self to become better! Regularly reflect on how far you've come, the challenges you've overcome, and the skills you've developed. Acknowledge your growth, no matter how incremental. This reinforces positive behaviour and builds confidence.

6. Define your Own Success

Above all, define your own success, on your own terms. Be more mindful of How you want to live your life and the Why. It's not about being better than others, but about achieving your goals and living aligned with your values, your core Self. Ask yourself…

“What does success truly mean to you?”

You have the power to carve your own path, the Power of Choice to be who you truly are.

In a Nutshell…

When used with the right intent and intelligence, Comparison can be a powerful motivator. It's about shifting from an "I'm not good enough" mindset to an "I can learn and grow" mindset. The key to sustained motivation and personal development, is from within – from your own values, goals, and desire for personal growth.

But sometimes, even with the above steps, social comparison may instigate negative emotions and negative comparisons. If you find yourself constantly being drawn to checking social media updates or going down the comparison rabbit hole and it is hampering your physical wellbeing, mental wellbeing and emotional wellbeing, you may want to take concrete steps. For example, consider limiting exposure or curating your feed to include more inspiring and less envy-inducing content. There are many ways to make Social Comparison work for your Better.