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5 ways to Re-mother Yourself – Unleash Your Inner Mother !

  • Writer: Rhucha Kulkarni
    Rhucha Kulkarni
  • May 11
  • 5 min read

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Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and many of us were privy or subjected to all the aplomb around all the mother-forward messaging and marketing. Popular culture makes us want to feel grateful, thankful, special for our mothers, or as mothers, highlighting the essence of motherhood - unconditional and (often) sacrificial mother’s love. Interestingly, in my inner work and coaching conversations, I have seen that some popular conventions may leave some of us feeling some different unexpected emotions. So this post is for those…

… who felt something lacking in what they received from their mothers,

… who are mothers themselves and feel a bit tired, a bit lost, a bit identity-less,

… who are not mothers, but are wanting to be mothers,

… who are not mothers by birth, and are proud to be mothers by raising other’s little ones,

… who are not mothers, and are happy with that choice,

… who are not mothers to humans, but motherly love to fur-babies,

… who are not mothers by gender or birth, but play a motherly role in someone’s life.


And all the myriad mother-versions out there…including those…

…who are mothers to their own Selves – the Inner Mothers.

 

 

The Pedestal of Motherhood

The fact is that, no human is perfect, and can never be ! So, contrary to popular belief, mothers are not and cannot be “perfect beings”. Let’s face it, this tag of “perfection” puts so much pressure on “being a mother”. In my role as a newborn and maternity photographer, interacting with hundreds of expecting mothers, new mothers and second-time mothers, I have seen a lot of emotions being candidly shared… guilt, shame, self-doubt, criticism, and much more. Operating day in and day out with these an overdose of these negative emotions can serve no one well – neither the mother nor the one being mothered. Hence, we need some Inner Power to address this “humanly imperfect” notion of motherhood.

 

5 Ways to Re-mothering the Self

 

Conventionally, mothers are “supposed” to meet the needs of a child on various levels – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and so on ! This is believed to be done by providing nurturance, comfort, support, solace, safety, warmth, care, grounding, and so on! Fulfilling such a huge responsibility is not easy, some of us may have missed out on one or more of these as a child.

So, what is the solution to dealing with the repercussions and subsequent emotions in a healthy way? It is reigniting the Inner Mother within us!  This is how…

 

  1. Self-care

Do you feel you missed out on being taken care of?

Do you crave to be held and comforted?

Caring for self means truly taking care of our needs. For someone this may look like indulging in some much-required me-time with a cup of coffee, whereas for others it may look more extreme – putting boundaries for things and people that do not serve well.

How to: Write down what makes you feel loved - make it a point to take time out or even inculcate it in your daily / weekly schedule.

 

  1. Self-compassion

Do you often criticise and reprimand yourself for the slightest mistake?

Do you hold yourself responsible to sky-high expectations?

Ask yourself, would you talk to and treat a loved one like that? Taking a step back and treating oneself with kindness and compassion is necessary to maintain sanity and self-worth.

How to: Do not talk to yourself the way you would not talk to a loved one. Be more conscious of your self-talk, “catch your thoughts” when you find yourself being too critical of yourself.

 

  1. Self-expression

Were you not allowed to express your emotions are a child?

Were you reprimanded for showing emotions – for crying too loudly, for being too whiny, for being too hyperactive and jumpy?

We may carry these inhibitions into our adulthood, leading ourselves to suppress our emotions on a daily basis. The result? They bottle up and burst out in inappropriate and unhealthy ways, like rage, extreme sadness bordering on depression, apathy etc.

How to: Allow yourself to feel your emotions, express your emotions and share your emotions. Find trusted people who you believe in and who believe in you becoming a better version! Allow yourself to feel and be - don’t be afraid to laugh out loud, break into a dance, get angry, or cry buckets.

 

  1. Self-protection:

Do you feel you are a doormat, with people walking all over you?

Do you feel guilty when you stand up for yourself?

Having a mother wound can leave one pining for unconditional love and acceptance, scampering around to seek it from whereever and however. It may lead one to people-please and have difficulty saying “No”. The journey to address this becomes with becoming self-aware, by knowing one’s limits.

How to: Ask yourself, “Does this person drain my energy or serve me good?”, “What will I gain and what will I lose by saying Yes?”. Knowing one’s threshold of tolerance and honouring it is essential to protect and uphold oneself.

 

  1. Self-acceptance:

No human is perfect. Hence, in this journey of mothering ourselves, even we will not be perfect. There will be times we will fumble and stumble. The success lies in still moving forward, despite failure in continue to being our Inner Mother. Let go of the perfectionist attitude. Let go of the need to “always be right”. Learn to accept yourself, fallacies and all.

How to: Make it a habit to check-in with yourself: “Are you feeling over-pressured?”, “Are you feeling “not enough?”, “Did you have a setback you can’t get over?”. Setbacks will happen, but success shall happen along with setbacks. Continuous learning and growth does not begin with disapproval of Self, it begins with Acceptance of Self. The idea is to keep turning inwards, to the true YOU, and taking that Inner Self ahead on the quest to Be Better.

 

In a Nutshell ...

 

As a child we were dependent and powerless,

but as Adults,

we have the power to craft our best version.

 

We all have an Inner Mother within, and as adults, we have the capability to harness this Inner Mother to mother or re-mother our Inner Child. It may sound like too much responsibility, but it we can Choose to look at it as a shining  opportunity  - to increase our inner power, to build our self-esteem, and to enhance our self-worth.

 

Mothering your Inner Child is a powerful step towards Emotional Wellbeing !

 

Connect with us @ mojomantra.coaching@gmail.com / 9819890485 - unlock emotional wellbeing !


 

 

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