Do you enjoy your own company ? #SeekingSolitude
- Rhucha Kulkarni
- Apr 5
- 4 min read
I was on my #solotrip last year as a precursor to publish my book of poems. I travelled alone, stayed alone, did sightseeing alone. This was not the first time, I have taken off earlier too, into the mountains, onto historic sites, all alone. During these travels, I have met people, and one question has constantly arisen, “But you are travelling alone, don’t you feel lonely?”, “Aren’t you bored?”, “Why go alone when you have a husband?”, “What do you do the whole day if alone?”, and the barrage of questions goes on !
To be honest, the time I spend with myself has reduced over time, but I strive to keep seeking Solitude. Because, my best creative moments and profound life-realizations have come in the time and energies I spent Solely with Me, with Myself !Despite these questions and conundrums, the urge to seek solitude continues…
And so today, I come to the question, “Are you your own soul companion?”
The Misunderstood Companions: Loneliness and Isolation
Solitude is often confused with Loneliness or Isolation. While being "alone" or “isolated” usually has a negative or neutral connotation, "solitude" implies a positive or neutral state of being alone, often by choice.
Isolation is the forced absence of connection.
Loneliness implies unwantedness and emptiness.
On the other hand…
Solitude is not absence; it is the chosen presence of self.
Solitude is not emptiness; it is space.
Solitude enables a person to be alone with themselves while enjoying their own company.
It is the space where we hear our own thoughts and feel our emotions most clearly, where the noise of the outside world fades into a gentle hush, and where we begin to notice the quiet rhythm of our own heart. In solitude, we return to ourselves. We shed the roles we wear in public, the masks we put on for approval, and the scripts we follow to fit in. What’s left is raw, honest, and empowering.
Solitude is the window to our Authentic, True selves.
A Historic Perspective on Solitude:
Many leaders, artists, and thinkers have found that solitude is where their deepest work emerges.
Steve Jobs is known to have “periods of solitude” to process information and foster creativity, often taking long barefoot walks.
"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice" - Steve Jobs
Famous American Naturalist, Poet and Philosopher, Henry David Thoreau often turned to nature to seek solace in solitude.
“I am never lonely here…I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude” - Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Gautam Buddha achieved enlightenment in solitude, emphasizing that true solitude is an inner state of non-attachment rather than simply being alone physically.
Einstein often spoke about the importance of solitude for thinking and creativity.
"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in maturity" – Albert Einstein
The above examples reinforce the importance of listening to one's own thoughts and intuition, through solitude.A popular misconception is that solitude makes one a recluse. However, it is worthy to note that many of these great people were not total recluses, but had their own social interactions, networks, and collaborations, defined and created to suit their true selves. This is what helped them harness the positives of solitude, and not wash away into the negatives of loneliness.
Solitude in today’s world
In a world constantly humming with notifications, obligations, and the weight of connection, solitude can feel like a radical act. But in stillness of solitude, we are able to peel the layers and go deep down into Who we Truly Are. We uncover our core Values, Beliefs, Purpose, Passions, Potential, and Creativity. We Understand, Acknowledge and Accept our Authentic Selves.
Am I living in alignment with what I value?
Am I chasing what truly fulfils me, or going after what merely impresses others?
Is what I am doing make me feel truly happy from within?
Answering these difficult questions for ourselves helps us unlock better Emotional Health and Emotional Wellbeing. We can live a life of Joy, Peace and Fulfilment, more in alignment with our inner core.
Of course, there needs to be a fine balance to benefit from Solitude. We are seeing a looming Loneliness Epidemic, especially post-pandemic. According to a research*4, the risk of premature death due to loneliness increased by 26% and 29% due to social isolation. To walk the tight rope between Isolation-Loneliness and Solitude, we must maintain social connectedness, while improving our capacity to be alone, in a positive way.
In a Nutshell…
Contrary to popular perception, we don’t need to escape to a homestay in the Himalayas to find solitude. It can be found in the early morning stillness before the world wakes up, or late at night when a cloak of darkness engulfs the world. It can be experienced in a walk in the garden without headphones, or in journaling at a café. In today’s digital era, simply putting away the phone away and sitting quietly with ourselves is a big step towards seeking Solitude.
For me, like many of us, life and work have taken over and travelling solo is not so frequently feasible, but I make it a point to go to my favourite place tucked away in a by-lane in Bandra, all by myself. It is my soul-space, where I can just BE – with my thoughts, with my feelings, with who I am.
Solitude doesn’t demand time; it demands Intention.
Remember, Solitude is about coming home to ourselves…
So take a moment today. Step back. Breathe deeply. Let the world carry on without you for just a little while. And in that space, listen - to your thoughts, your heartbeat, your dreams. You might be surprised by what you hear in the silence within.
Are you willing to get comfortable with your own company?
Connect with us @ mojomantra.coaching@gmail.com , let’s rediscover our Best Selves and cultivate our Best Lives !
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