Change your Thoughts, choose Happiness

Rhucha Kulkarni
Nov 24, 2024
4 min read

The Science and Art of Happiness is administered by many psychological theories and research-backed techniques. One such popular and earlier theory, advocated by Aaron Beck in the 1960’s was Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT. Till date, it remains one of the most widely accepted and used therapy modalities. It is based on the concept of the Cognitive Triangle, which demonstrates the interrelated nature of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. The core construct of the theory is the deep interconnectedness between mind and body.

The Cognitive Triangle

Cognitive Triangle elaborates on how thoughts influence emotions, leading to actions that, in turn, affect thoughts, creating a continuous cycle.

Source: cogbtherapy*2

1. Thoughts: Thoughts are how we make sense of the world around us, of situations we find ourselves in. They come alive within the mind in the form of words, sentences, images, ideas, etc. Did you know that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before and about 80% are negative*1.

2. Feelings: Thoughts lead to emotions, which in turn, lead to physiological changes in the body. Thus, feelings are more than emotions, they are a manifestation of emotions in the body. For instance, the emotion of anger makes our face flush, or the emotion of anxiety makes our heart rate increase.

3. Behaviours: Behaviours are the what we do i.e. an enactment of our thoughts and feelings. Also, it is what we choose not to do, and this, in turn, influences our thoughts again.

The Interconnectedness of it all

Whenever any situation unfolds, we create thoughts about it in our mind, these thoughts generate feelings in our body, and ultimately lead to behaviours that influence the situation positively or negatively. This cyclical process repeats, emphasizing the interconnectedness of thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and their impact on ongoing situations.

Source: Happiitude

One can also think of this as the “Emotion Triangle, where mind, body and behavioural outcomes are intricately connected.

How the Cognitive Triangle works in real-life situations?

As seen above, the Cognitive Triangle is the crux of how emotion-messages are created. These emotion-messages are communicated at every point in time through our body (physical sensations), our minds (thoughts, memories, imagination) and our behaviour (urges and actions). By focusing on these three areas, we can learn to tune-in to our emotions better. Emotional Awareness i.e. being fully aware of one’s emotions, is perhaps the first step in Emotional Acceptance and Emotional Freedom. Being aware of what one is thinking, feeling and behaving is a constant endeavour in mindfulness, and sets the foundation for us to consciously choose the right thoughts, which shall work for our wellbeing and happiness.

Source: Happiitude

How to choose happiness using the Cognitive Triangle?

Our thoughts and feelings are giving us important messages to survive and thrive in life. Negative thoughts are often looked down upon, but they are essential to a certain extent, to ‘protect us’, by preparing us into flight or fight mode. However, too many negative thoughts can create a negative loop of thinking, which increases the production of stress hormones like cortisol in the body, and is detrimental to our wellbeing. Also, emotional issues may occur when we ignore, suppress or misidentify our emotions. To become emotionally aware i.e. to name our emotions and tell them apart, we must develop the “inwards looking” view. This is called “emotional labelling”.

To choose happiness, we can make a conscious observation and then, a conscious choice of our thoughts:

· Whenever your feel any emotion, identify and “label” what emotion it is.

· Identify the thought behind that emotion – are these helpful or unhelpful for you?

· Delve on what behaviours we are doing in response to these feelings

· Ask yourself, “Do you want more of this feeling?”. If yes, identify what actions / behaviours you shall take to make more of such feelings happen. If not, identify what actions / behaviours you shall take to minimize (or eliminate) such feelings.

· Identify the consistent behaviours which help you “create” more happy thoughts. Factor these into your schedule to consciously cultivate happiness on a sustainable basis.

We practically cannot expect to always have happy thoughts, it is equally important to identify the non-happy thoughts and feelings.

· When you identify a thought as non-happy, ask yourself, “What is the opposite of this?”

· Create a positive thought and a positive action/behaviour which helps you replace the unhappy thought. This can be an activity, an affirmation, etc. Inculcate into your daily routine and make it into a habit.

Replacing the negative with the positive is not easy and takes time. But these can be some small steps towards creating a “positivity cycle” and a “happiness cycle”.